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[18 Jul 2007|08:36am] |
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[Chorus] (Lil' Wayne)
I've been lonely, I've been waiting for you
I'm pretending, and that's all I can do (that's all I can do mama)
The love I'm sending ain't making it through to your heart (I hope you hear me)
[Lil' Wayne]
Pain, since I've lost you, I'm lost too
Nigga feelin' like he at the bottom like a horse shoe
Sorry for the trouble that I put you and your heart through
God knows that I'd do anything for a part two, or to
be prayin' for the day you come back to me, sayin' that you forgive me
Give me another chance, I'm needin' it like a kidney
I don't wanna advance, give me back her hands
Give me back her touch, I don't ask for much
but I f**ked up, I know I f**ked up, I admit I f**ked up
but everybody f**k up, now this other nigga lucked up
Tellin' me and my clique don't give a f**k
Cause um, we from New Orleans, she was from Georgia
She was my down chick, I was her soldier
I was her gangsta, she was my shoulder
You were the pistol to my holster .. BANG!
[Chorus] (Lil' Wayne)
You've been hiding, never letting it show
Always trying, to keep it under control (I see you hidin' it mama)
You got it down, and your well on your way to the top (keep doin' your thing)
but there is something you forgot
[Lil' Wayne]
You forgot about the house, you forgot about the ring
I remember everything, I just wanna hear you sing
I remember the love, right after the fights
You can't tell me you don't remember those nights
and if I would cry, then you would cry twice
To me you are the brightest star under sunlight
[Something You Forgot lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]
See take away my title, take away my stripes
You give me back my girl and you give me back my life
Give me back my girl and you give me back my life
See this is just a nightmare, so I blink twice
Open up my eyes hopin' she'd be in my sight
I remember the time, I wish I could bring it back
What she mean to me, is what I mean to rap (what I mean to rap)
[Chorus] (Lil' Wayne)
You've been hiding, (y'know) never letting it show
Always trying (I see you hidin' it mama)
to keep it under control (but I know you know)
You got it down (I know you do)
and your well on your way to the top
(but I wish you and yours nothin' but happiness shawty)
[Verse 3:]
But I hope you haven't forgot about me up in the livin' room watchin' Sports Center
You were cookin' dinner, I was such a sinner, but the Lord is a forgiver
You know they say if you pray then you can get your blessings ordered and delivered
and your boyfriend is not like me
Ma you even went and got a teardrop like me
I remember we would sit at home all day
You called me "Butta", I called you "Babe"
My momma asked about you, my partners did too
I know your daughter will be so amazin' like you
and I know you probably wish you never met me, and I just wish you never forget me
and let me say, please don't worry 'bout the women I have been with
No engagement can amount to your friendship
and I hope that nigga know he got a queen, and all I can do is dream .. DAMN!
[Chorus]
I've been lonely, I've been waiting for you
I'm pretending, and that's all I can do
The love I'm sending ain't making it through to your heart
*** Complimentary Something You Forgot Ringtone ***
Something You Forgot Music Video
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| Tonight was so good. |
[12 Dec 2006|12:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Last Laugh 06 |
] |
I am definately not going to get my hopes up but tonight was so nice. Jon and I ate at my house and then went back to his house to hang out for a little while. He was perfect. He loved on me and goofed around with me and tickled me until I couldnt breathe anymore. We didnt fight at all, thank god. I dont think I could take another night of that. It was so relaxing and I feel pretty good right now. I havent given him the letter I wrote yet. I think I will do that tomorrow. I think he'll like it.
Exams start thursday and then I am done with the semester. It went by so fast. Wednesday, holly and I are eating dinner at Grammy's house and one night this week I have to go to dinner with my brother and grandpa to meet "Gloria". That will be interesting.
I cant wait for christmas. There are already presents under the tree. I dont know what I am getting my dad. I want to get jon the tickets for Nickelback but im not sure if that will happen. Oh well
I need to go to bed now because its late.
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| Is it so much to ask to be first? |
[04 Dec 2006|04:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Beyonce- Irreplaceable |
] |
Seriously, is it so much to ask to be first to my own boyfriend? It feels so crappy to have to wonder if I am that important to him. Yes, most of the time I feel like I am the only thing that matters and lately Jon and I have been doing really well and I have been happy for a couple of days (an extensive period of time for happiness in our relationship). I am so glad that we have been better since our little break up about a week ago. But today kinda ruined it. I will admit that when I went to see him at CJ's parents' shop, I knew what I was going to say and I knew what Jon's answer would be and I still expected a different answer. So right off the bat, I started it. But I think I only did that because I keep expecting him to do something I dont expect. Thats all I really want. For him to surprise me with a decision to hang out with me, despite previous plans, or a surprise visit to my house. Something, anything. I just want to know that I am the only thing on his mind and that I am number one to anything else. I want him to pick me over everything. Is that selfish though? I dont think so because that is the way I feel about him. I am always the one going to HIS house, picking HIM up, buying HIM what HE needs. I dont get anything back. He never tries to find a ride to my house to save me a trip. He never surprises me with something special or different. He never makes any special dates for us to do. He never sets specific time aside for just the two of us. Even making "appointments" with him days or weeks in advance sometimes doesnt work. Everything gets so boring and so pointless after awhile. He can only take so much from me before I cant take it anymore. And, to be honest, I am just waiting to be so exhausted that I give up trying and just let go. That would be the only way for this to end. Unless, however unlikely it may be, Jon actually steps up and does his part and helps me out and starts to think of someone besides himself. I always wanted a boyfriend that would just be my best friend. Where we would be a team, always on one anothers side, never on the defensive. I just want him to be the one person in the entire world that I trust, want to be around, care about, and just love. That doesnt seem so hard when you read it, but apparently its pretty fucking impossible.
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| So I guess we're done...For now. |
[26 Nov 2006|12:04am] |
So today I was by myself all day. I didnt do anything, sort of. I reflected a little bit on my behavior in Jon and I's relationship. I realized that I am comletely ridiculous. How ridiculous I thought Jon was in the beginning has just been out done by my recent antics. Thats sad because I always thought Jon would be the crazy, intense one but instead, its me now. I get so mad for nothing. No reason at all. As a matter of fact, I am not even mad half the time but since we already started arguing, I just keep going in my quest to be right... all the time. You cant be right all the time, especially when you are usually wrong. I should seriously get a grip on myself. Which leads me to my subject for this evenings entry. Jon broke up with me.
Im not gonna lie, my stomach did a summersault when he said "I dont want to be with you anymore." Once I caught my breath and thought for a second, it occured to me that we have been together for waaaaaaay too long to break up over the phone, so I told him I was coming over to see him. He resisted for a little bit then he gave in. I didnt even put shoes on when I left; just locked the door and did like 60 the whole way to his house with my heart pounding out of my chest. At first I wanted to talk him out of it, but then I thought for a second and realized that this was probably the best thing that we could do right now, considering our elevated level of aggression toward each other. I got to his house and thought that he had tricked me because CJ's car wasnt in the drive way. I opened the door and Jon came walking out toward me. We walked outside and I told him that I did a lot of thinking today and that I wanted to be different and that I knew I couldnt act the way that I did because he definately didnt deserve it. He told me that he couldnt take the stress anymore and me being controling and complaining about him being with his friends. Basically, he said everything that I just realized today on my own but obviously it was too late. At first he was acting tough but after we talked, he started to choke up a little and then he just cried. That made me so happy because I was scared that it wasnt a big deal to him and that he was done with it all. Then he cried and I saw that he did care and it meant a lot to him and he was scared about what was happening. He kept asking me, between sobs, to not hate him and made me promise I would still talk to him and be in his life; we would, essentially, be best friends (for the time being or until his shit was taken care of (or until we missed each other so much we couldnt stand it anymore)). I just love him so much, I couldnt imagine being with anyone else. I dont want to be with anyone else. I just want him. I want HIM to be the one to make me happy, I want HIM to be the one I have awesome sex with, I want HIM to care about me and think about me all the time. I JUST WANT HIM. I am going to work really hard on myself and try to figure out what I can do to make US work out. I cant wait to live with him and take our relationship to the next level, but before we can build a life together, our foundation has to be completely solid. I know we will make it, there is no doubt in my mind. I know he's not seeing anyone else and I know that I am not the least bit interested in anyone else. I love him.
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| Hmm |
[25 Nov 2005|10:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
:: pathetic silence of my lonely mind :: |
] |
So its 10:30 on a Friday night and I've been sitting here by myself since 9:30 because Jon had to go pick a friend up from work at 10. Thats so pathetic of me. Every night this week I was in bed before 11 and up by 9. I want to sleep in! Today was Holly's 16th birthday and Kristas 18th birthday. Thanksgiving was yesterday and that was such a pain in the ass! 25 people came over, which meant tons of cleaning before and after. Tomorrow I work from 12-5 and then Holly's for lasagna. Things right now are good. Im glad I have a job. Amber and I aren't talking lol. Tuesday she dropped me off and told me not to call her. So that was pretty cool of her. I am going to need to chill on the sarcasm because I dont think Amber can take much more and Im tired of her complaining all the time. Thats pretty much it.
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| I havent been here in forever! |
[16 Nov 2005|09:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 horny |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Lil Wayne- Fireman |
] |
So pretty much havent updated in a long time. It was nice not being able to waste hours upon hours on the internet every week. Ive gotten a lot of things done. Jon and I are totally still together and I love him more than ever, even though I am horribly cruel to him on.. pretty much a regular basis. Seriously, I am trying to work on that. Tomorrows thursday and then next week is only 2 days so that is cool. Then Krista's birthday and thanksgiving then Holly's birthday. Lots of time to be with Jon so thats always good. Nothing really new. Im so tired of school and the drama. Why cant we all just get along?!
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| Happy Halloween! |
[31 Oct 2005|01:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Ashlee Simpson- Boyfriend |
] |
So I havent updated in awhile. Jon and I are still together despite a few bumps along the way. Everything is really good. Selling my car, actually it got totalled during the hurricane so that was gay. I told you guys it was cursed. Getting really tired of school. I went home early today because my stomach was cramping up really bad and pretty much thought I was going to die. It sucks we have mass tomorrow though, should've missed that instead. Got all A's and B's on my report card, which was actually awesome. Got a bumper sticker too. My dad comes home today from Ohio/Tennessee. He had to visit my great grandma in Ohio who is really sick and then looked around in Tenn. at property because he is like hell bent on moving there ASAP. Justin spent the weekend here. He was fun. Dinner with the whole family and Jon on Saturday. Awkward. Anywho. I took some serious medicine and Im about to fall asleep while typing so I will finish the update laterss.
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| College is the shiznit WOOP WOOP! |
[15 Oct 2005|10:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Korn- All Day I Dream About Sex |
] |
So pretty much, after my four days with the kind, kind people of UNF, I have decided that all high school- level guys are a total and complete waste of time. The guys in KA (Kennys frat) were so sweet and showed Amber and I such a good time. I dont even feel like writing about it but omg. Best time of my life. We did what we wanted, when we wanted and it didnt matter because no one give a shit up there. You make your own rules and come and go as you please. I met so many people and had so much fun! Kenny and his friends were total sweethearts and they were hilrious. All of Kennys friends are JUST LIKE HIM. H couldnt have found a better group of people to hang out with. They were really fun.
But we did get Kenny in quite a bit of trouble though, so Amber and I feel bad for that and we are banned from being on dorm room property or parking lots for like 1 year or we get arrested so.... yeaa lol. And that was just our first night.
Anywho. I had a great time and I am so going to UNF because they are the nicest people ever and its really fun an.. yea thats about it.
I soo dont want to go to JC tues. morning. Being bossed around by my mom is going to suck man.
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| A totally new level. |
[06 Oct 2005|08:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Fallout Boy- Sugar we're going down |
] |
Ok so guys.
Seriously. Jon and I have reached a new level in our relationship. I know Ive said it before but its true this time.
Lately we've been having a lot of problems with the whole leaving for college thing and its been making me so mad because I would rather not think about it and just have fun for the year thats left. But he insists upon bringing it up everytime we talk and tonight it made me so mad. So I yelled at him and asked what he expected me to do. And finally he got everything off his chest and just told be what he was thinking and all that stuff. After he told me what was bothering him and all that, he felt so much better. He really made things so much easier on me. Im really happy right now and despite the fact that I crashed my car for the third time in 5 months yesterday, Im pretty happy.
Yea I know you all heard about the car thing so Im not even going to rehash that dumbass story.
Next weekend Amber and I are going to visit colleges together!! Just the two of us for pretty much the whole 6 day weekend. Im so excited. Hopefully we will be staying with Kenny and it will be awesome.
Ok well I have to go study for A&P because theres a test tomorrow and I havent opened one book.
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[25 Sep 2005|06:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Trey Songz- Just gotta make it |
] |
All effing day at the beach with Holly, Jon, Justin and Andrew. So hot. Really fun. the pool after. im so tired. frank and al's is getting better. Paris was really really nice and i like her a lot more that um.. Angela. I dont feel like talking today. oh went shopping yesterday got some cute stuff.
yea. dont feel like going to school
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| Much better |
[19 Sep 2005|10:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nervous |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Trey Songz- Gotta make it |
] |
Much better today, well towards the end. Great day today, very relaxing. Barely any school work. It was nice not having the freshmen or Alpha goody goodies (lol jk!)
After school, ran some errands. washed my car.. then it POURED outside. I was glad i wasted 15 minutes. then went to see jon. i was in the worst mood ever like for 2 hours. finally i snapped out of it and we are ok now. i gave him the silent treatment and everything.. he hates that. it worked beautifully. im tired and need to take a shower so.... im leaving
ps im still freakin out
Here's Jon and I's theme song to our relationship:
"Gotta Make It"
(feat. Twista)
Just Gotta Make It (alright)
Just Gotta Make It
Just Gotta Make It (alright)
Just Gotta Make It
Just Gotta Make It (alright)
Just Gotta Make It
Shorty, all I got is a dollar and a dream
Is ya gonna roll wit me? (roll wit me)
You see I've tried a 9 to 5, and it just don't fit me
(fit me) (no)
I can get us out the hood and have us livin good
Ya feel me? (oh do feel me)
But I aint leavin here if you ain't wit me
(If you ain't wit me)
Cause girl a suit wit a smile that don't fit me
Taking a bus for some miles is gon kill me
(that's gon kill me)
I'm tryin' to turn it around,
start this thing from the ground
and as long as you're down I know,
Looking at you day after day, I know I
Just Gotta Make It (alright) Just Gotta Make It
(Just Gotta Make It)
Just to see that smile upon your face I know I
Just Gotta Make It (alright) I Just Gotta Make It
Everything I do I do for you and we
Just Gotta Make It (alright) Just Gotta Make It
To the top of the world me and my girl we
Just Gotta Make It (alright) Just Gotta Make It
Now, baby (baby)
one day soon you gone walk outside
(yes you are) and see a Mercedes
And I'm gone give ya the keys and tell ya 'go shoppin' (shoppin)
(and buy everything you want, buy everything you need,
make sure you get some sh** for me)
Then I can get us out the hood and have us livin good
But first I gotta know that you gonna roll
Cause girl a suit wit a smile that don't fit me
Taking a bus for some miles is gon kill me
(that's gon kill me)
I'm tryin' to turn it around, start this thing from the ground
and as long i kno you're gon be down
Looking at you day after day I know I
Just Gotta Make It (alright) I Just Gotta Make It
(Just Gotta Make It)
Just to see that smile upon your face I know I
Just Gotta Make It (alright) I Just Gotta Make It
Everything I do I do for you then we
Just Gotta Make It (alright) Just Gotta Make It (that's right)
To the top of the world me and my girl we
Trey Songz, Twista
Just Gotta Make It (alright) Just Gotta Make It
[Twista:]
Even if I gotta go and cop a thing,
get up early an go standing on the block, some how I
(Just gotta make it) Thats Right
(Just gotta make it) Uh huh
Even if I have to sit wit the fellaz
at the round table and come up on a plot, some how I
(Just gotta make it) Baby girl I
(Just gotta make it) Uh huh
I'm telling you the truth on the daily
There's nothing I won't do for you baby,
Having big dreams that we ridin` in the Bently Contenental,
while me copping you a cute lil Mercedes
And I know I got the block hot,
but until I make happin for you baby I will not stop
I will drap you with diamonds and furs,
visions of your hurr blowin` in the wind from my drop top
(Like a baller, like a true shot caller)
The homie Trey Songz trippin`
all day long get me high too,
makin` that money for the family
(can i get up wi'cha its that nigga named twista)
Come and take a lil cruise with a jeep,
threw the chi-town streets cause you feelin me up on the inspiration whenever I'm
Looking at you day after day I know I
Just Gotta Make It (alright)
I Just Gotta Make It (Just Gotta Make It)
Just to see that smile upon your face I know I
Just Gotta Make It (alright) I Just Gotta Make It
Everything I do I do for you then we
Just Gotta Make It (alright)
Just Gotta Make It (that's right)
To the top of the world me and my girl we
Just Gotta Make It (alright) Just Gotta Make It [fades..]
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[18 Sep 2005|10:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sean Paul- We be burnin |
] |
This weekend was effing ridiculous. Mudfest saturday with kenny, tim, amber, brett and tiffany. sooo much fun! jon made it miserable though because he was freaking out. then tonight we had a huge fight and i went over after *work* and talked. But im so fucking tired of trying to work everything out with him. its not like we fight that often, 3 times actually, but when we do, its bad. he makes me crazy. hes so needy and im tired of having to take care of him alll the time. he is 19 fucking years old and needs to get his own life back on track and im not doing it for him. im so tired of him apologizing. im sick to death of his attitude he gets when my phone rings, always thinking its kenny (like the kid calls me everyday. more like once a week) im sick of the guilt trips, the complaining. but i love him so much. this weekend has definately made me question our relationship. im just frustrated i guess. i dont even feel like writing what happened. im sure i will tell all of you on monday anyway lol.
started work at frank and al's today. oh my fucking god. i wanted to crawl in the oven and die the whole 5 1/2 hours i was there. i was contemplating suicide in every way possible. i was standing the whole time, it was hot, i had no one to talk to. it was confusing, i had to look busy the whole time and there wasnt shit to do. but it was interesting and i love the hours.. like 3 days a week so whatever. it couldnt possible be that bad.
so im tired and hungry and i think im just making myself crazy. i need a fucking break from life.
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|
| So tired... |
[13 Sep 2005|09:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
exhausted |
] |
Omg I am so tired. I was up all night literally because Jon wouldnt stop bothering me. So I got zero sleep and I dont really remember much of what happened today. So glad tomorrow is Wednesday because then there's Thurs. and Fri. I need to get offline and go take a shower. I stay on the computer for so long messing with the myspace thing every night. Its getting on my nerves. Saw my great grandpa today and I guess hes not doing too good. Stopped and saw my grandpa and talked to my uncle on the phone. today was clearly family day. at least I got that out of the way for the next couple weeks. and my mom came home tonight too. Um math homework needs to get done but I have study hall first thing in the morning so.. I will do it then. Not much is going on. Oh! saw Amanda from publix today for like the first time in months. she was sooo cute. She lost a lot of weight and cut her hair and is working at Walgreens. So i talked to her for awhile and we decided we would hang out this weekend or something. I missed her so much. Shes one of those friends that you could not talk to for like 3 months and then as soon as you see her, you guys can talk like youve been together every moment for a year. Shes the coolest person.
K so im exausted so I will talk atcha laterss!!!!
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|
| Monday |
[12 Sep 2005|07:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
worried |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
My Chemical Romance- Helena |
] |
Today was definately monday. I was so tired I could barely stay awake. Nothing really happened. After school Holly came over til like 4. Then I went job hunting at like the worst places on earth and I quickly got discouraged after my stop at Bealls Outlet*.
* Now let me explain my logic behind this decision: My mom always tells me how ungrateful I am and all this other crap. So I figured that if I worked at a shithole, depressing, cheap ass store like f'ing Bealls Outlet, that I would appriciate all that my mom does for me, not that I dont now, just I would appriciate it MORE.
But after I walked in and talked to this 1000 year old lady who was hacking a lung up and the Arabian manager who didnt speak english, I spit my gum out in the application and threw it out the window. After that I was too depressed and discouraged at what I had resorted to and called the job hunt quits for today and went to Jons so he could comfort me.
We went to Taco Bell because Jon was hungry and then back to his house. He insists upon kissing all over me and making out on the couch while his mom brother and sister are in the same room trying to watch tv. Then he has to ask everyone in the room if its ok to kiss me and tell them that Im embarrassed. Everyone just looked at me and rolled their eyes and continued watching tv. So that was awkward.
Then his brother called and asked him to drive him to Port Salerno to see his dad. This was ok until I remembered that I had a dream he was driving on I-95 and crashed and died. Granted that he was eating a bowl of cereal in my dream, he still crashed! It was symbolism for him being distracted, ok? Then I got really worried and took like 4 pictures of him and kept hugging him. I made him promise really bad that he would drive careful. I fought back some tears and figured Id get to be single again if something did happen. OMG IM SO KIDDING GUYS! I would absolutely die if something did happen. I love him so much and he just has such bad luck, so I am a little nervous. But I know he'll be ok so Im not even going to worry. Hes supposed to call me when he gets there and when hes leaving and when he gets home and before he goes to bed.
So Im going to get a shower cuz.. Im bored and now Im worried.
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|
| My weekend was... |
[11 Sep 2005|06:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 angry |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Black Eyed Peas- My hump (lol!) |
] |
So this was pretty much the longest week and the shortest weekend ever. School drug by sooo slowly. Im so tired of going already. Good thing im having 0 problems in all classes except for A & P. So Friday night... god i cant even remember what I did. Oh yea, Jon wanted to go see the Emily Rose movie but I talked him out of it. We ended up just sitting around for awhile and then going over to Sammys for a little bit. I was so tired I was perfectly ok with doing nothing.
Saturday I had senior pictures and those took forever! I am praying to god that they turn out good because my other ones were.. embarrassing. Jon called me while I was getting my pictures taken but I couldnt answer obviously, then my dad called to tell me to go pick up my brother because they were back from Palm Bay. So I had to go over there, visit with my dad a little bit and then bring my brother home. As soon as I got to my moms she wanted me to drive her and my brother to the house on the drive because they were staying there that night. So I went there and hand to hang out with them for awhile because.. I only get to see them on some weekends. So Jon called again and I told him Id call him back in 5 minutes because I didnt think I was staying long. I ended up staying like 30 minutes and left my phone in the car...
I get in the car and I checked my messages and Jon left one saying "Forget my name. Forget my number. Forget I existed. Fuck you. Its over" And Im like.... Oh hell no that bitch did not just do that... So I went over to his house and barged through the front door. He was laying on the couch with a pillow over his face and I yanked it away and started yelling at him. He tried yelling back at me for a little bit and I was like no.. listen... AHHHHH! Lol it was so funny. So then he felt bad and whatever... so we are obviously together again. Then that night he was weird again and made me cry (hehe) and he felt even worse. but we had one of those really deeeep talks and worked everything out and now we are ike 1827423875 times better than we were before. Its so cute. Guys, I love him so much.
We went swimming at my aunts today with the whole family for a little while but Justin and I left earlyto have lunch with my dad and he let me drive the truck! I was so excited because he never lets me do that because Dolly is always there. So we were driving and he asked if I was having sex and I like almost drove off of the road lol. And hes like "oh my god jessica. please be careful. Ugh... Just be careful" and Put his hand over his face and I was just laughing because.. it was weird. I was like just dont worry about it dad. And my brothers like shes not! shes not! so my dad left me alone about that.
Anywho. Just got back from Jons house and my mom wont let me go back out which is totally gay because shes fucking passed out on the couch anyway. I swear to god, I like it so much more when shes not here because she does not realize that I dont need her as much as she thinks I do. It makes me so mad. I just want her to leave me alone. How long have I been saying this for?!
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[06 Sep 2005|08:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Green Day- Jesus of Suburbia**** |
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Im cold.
So today I heard about everyone being mad at Shannon and I talked to her about it and she has no idea why. I know its not really any of my business but I still would like to discuss this topic a little further.
Hillary and Merritt I love to death because they were still my friends even when I couldnt pay the rest of you guys to speak to me. I feel so bad for Shannon because I know what shes going through and I know how it feels. You guys are such bad friends, especially a couple of you. You may be loyal to a particular person but anyone else is just the flavor of the week and can be dropped when its convenient to you. After I stopped hanging out with you guys and started hanging out with Jen and Alexis' and Amber I realized what real friends are like. They are people that invite you to go to walmart with them, even if its just to get a pack of gum. They call you afterschool if you were home sick all day, they hold your hair for you when you are throwing up and will carry you upstairs to put you to bed when you are too drunk to walk. They are there at 2 o'clock in the morning to talk if you had a fight with your parents or you just cant sleep. They drive you wherever you need to go if you dont have a car because you wrecked it and come to see you when you are stuck home with a broken foot because of an accident. Thats what real friends are. Thats what you should look for in someone. And thats something that none of you guys were to me. That makes me sad to know I wasted years to end up with nothing when I could have had great friends all along.
So anyways... Yozi or whatever is getting a little fresh with me and he;d better watch it or he will be having a visit from mister J.K. (thats my boyfriend, guys.) School was so boring and I was so ready for it to be over all day. Good thing its not a full week. Im glad I am friends with the people that I am. I missed Krista and Amanda and Jessica. Dont know why we stopped talking but I wish we wouldnt have. Even though Amanda is still being a little mean and its hard to tell if she actually likes me or not, I guess I deserve it.
Amber and wendy got into a fight (yelling) at the pet store today and wendy was crying. it was so funny. saw jon this afternoon, picked amber up to go tanning and brought her home. My moms friend Mellow, the FHP was here. Shes sooo cool. I can tell her anything that ive done and she wont tell my mom and shes just cool about it. she said that if i ever needed a ride home from a party that i could call her and my mom would never know. im not sure how loyal she would be to that promise though, i will have to feel it out and see how comfortable i am with her and what secrets she will keep. Anyway... gotta do ambers current even so i will ttyl!!
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| Im sick, guys |
[01 Sep 2005|04:26pm] |
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 sick |
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music |
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Ying Yang Twins- Shake |
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Ughhh... I so do not feel good. Since like Monday, it has felt like there is a horse standing on the right side of my face. My nose is stuffy, my throat hurts, my neck hurts... its not good. I went to school Tues. for an hour and left early. I wasnt going to go to school today but I wouldnt get to do anything afterschool *see Jon* if I stayed home. So I was a trooper today and I would like mad props for that.
Talked to my mom yesterday and my dad left me a message saying that my drug test came back negative... doy! It was so random. My mom calls me and is like "Juli is coming over to give you a drug screen. Do what she tells you." Then my dad called and told me that hes tired of my drug problems, and my mom was saying the same thing. They are convinced that Jon is supplying me with marijuana. Its hilarious because thats the total opposite of how he is. Hes a good kid, which is surprising, for my tastes.
Anywho so my mom said that she would make it up to me by taking me shopping Saturday and buying me anything my heart desires. She said to get a list ready and that she has the credit card on deck and ready to go.
That sounds so good... its making my mouth water. Hollister, here I come.
Half day friday! I am so excited and no school Monday. I think I am going to drag Jon to the game on Friday, but only like the last quarter. I dont want to make him suffer too much.
Wow I feel so bad for the people in New Orleans. That sucks so bad. Im really glad we didnt get hit with that shit. The gas stations were all outof gas and its up to $3.09- $3.29 a gallon. Sooo gay.
Well I am looking forward to this weekend!!!!
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[28 Aug 2005|10:41pm] |
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Hawthorne Heights- Ohio is for Lovers |
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I am sooo gald we had Friday off!! The hurricane didnt even come near us but poor New Orleans.. So thursday night I went out with Jon and we hung out at Sammys house. I had a craving for pizza so I decided to go say hi to krista. Talked to her for a little while, took Jons car to drive up there and he was very nervous the 20 minutes I was gone lol. Came back to Sammys.. talked to this girl Cristina who I guess is married to Sammys brother, who is the most disgusting person I have ever seen; You could imagine Cristina with that being said. She was telling me how I dont have to worry about Jon cheating on my with her because they were just "really good friends" and I was like um ok that never crossed my mind once because you are like mid twenties and ugly and you are missing a tooth... but I just smiled and acted relieved. She was nice. A bunch of people came over, but I had to go home at 12 so I missed most of the party.
Then Friday Jon picked me up and we went on our first actual date. We went to see Red Eye and it was so boring. There were tons of little kids there and ugh.. it wasnt that fun. I doubt we will be going back to the movies anytime soon. So we went back to his house and Anna and Kasper were there and Devon called me and was telling me about how Dalton got shot and hes dead and was asking why I didnt go to his funeral. Someone called me like 2 weeks ago saying that Dalton was dead but I didnt beleive them, and I still dont think he is. So Devon and his Mexican friends started talking shit about Jon and Kasper... everyone threatened to beat everyones ass... yada yada.. went to Sammys to get Sammy and Justin... went by Daltons house to find Devon but they werent there.. Huge deal. Then it was on the news that Mikey Hicks and 4 black kids chased down and beat to death a Guatemalen guy on his bike. I knew Mikey hicks.. thats so creepy to know he did that but omg.. that kid was a fuck up. When I met him.. he was running from the cops, then like a month later pulled a gun out on someone by Sammys house, a week later beat the shit out of a freshmen at LPA and got arrested, a week after that he supposedly shot or stabbed someone but it ended up not being him.. 2 weeks later he kils someone. Seriously, this kid is so messed up and I hope he spends a lot of time in a very unhappy place. Everyone hated him and wanted to beat him up, so Im sure everyone is excited about this.
Saturday was Jon and I's One Month Anniversary! lol we sat home and watched tv and he gave me like a million hickeys and it was so embarrassing because my mom saw then and wasnt very happy. I felt bad. Oh and Saturday I got my car back! I GOT MY CAR BACK!! I GOT MY CAR BACK! New front end and all. Drove to Melbourne to get my brother, went to Jons. Then today went to Jons and spent the day there, then went to Ambers for awhile. I cant wait to drive my car to school tomorrow! Ok I gotta go study for vocab, I didnt realize how long this entry was or how late it was...
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[24 Aug 2005|10:24pm] |
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Reliant K- Be my Escape |
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So Amber just left. She was helping me study for the Anatomy and Physiology test tomorrow because 1. I MUST get a good grade or my average will go nnnnnerrrrrummmmm...BOOM! and 2. I didnt get it anyway. So she helped a lot even though she was tired. Jon came over right after I got out of school and we hung out for awhile, then went to Sammys. Then we came back to my house and I decided I was hungry so we left again to go to McDonalds since everyone is out of town and Im completely on my own, especially until Friday. Hopefully my mom will come home for the hurricane lol. J/k I know she will. Anyway. So we ate and Jon was tired so he left. Thats when Amber got here.
Today at school was so funny. Amber and I were so loud at lunch. I talked to the Katie Beckford girl Sierra said was talking shit about me (" "). Then we went and talked to Aaron and Kevin and Holly and Jen... For Jen's birthday, her dad is renting an Excursion limo to drive everyone to Halloween Horror Nights and then drive us home. She invited me to come too so thats going to be soooo fun!! I cant wait. Its October 8th so I will have to start planning around that. I think after we are all going to Ambers to spend the night.
Jon picked me up from school yesterday, which was really cute. He was on time and everything! He even showed up for once, so that was nice. I love him so much. Pretty much everything revolves around him. And Amber. But thats about it. Thats ok though. I seriously need to make sure I do good in school, and Jons really good a bout wanting me to study and get my work done before we hng out so of course, thats cute. Hes kinda moody though. Its something I still havent figured out yet. He goes up and down. Idk. I will so fix that. And I was thinking.. I really dont like how he thinks sometimes about certain issues, but I was like wait... I can so change that.. evetually at least. But it will be changed. He WILL be my perfect creation lol. Tim didnt work out too good but this one definately worked out better.
Kenny called me last night from college and said hes having the best time ever. He wants me to go visit him for a weekend. Hes like "I'll drive down there to pick you up, even if its just for the weekend! You have to come stay with me!!" I was like hell yes I want to go stay up there! Does anyone have the slightest clue how fun that would be? Go up to a college and just party all weekend, with no parental supervision whatsoever?! Of course I would bring a companion. Probably Amber or Krista, but I dont think Kristas mom would let her go.. maybe if hell froze over but not anytime before that lol. Oh well. I guess I am going to head to bed since all my stuff is done. I love having the house to myself. Its great. My mom thinks Im getting too independent but I was like um.. im going to be 18 in about 5 months... maybe I should be independent! Oh well.. shes nervous though.. understandibly....
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| Beach... is... HOT |
[20 Aug 2005|05:52pm] |
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> ready to party |
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Nappy Headz- Robbery |
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I just woke up from a really really good nap. Went to bed at like 3:30 after Amber left and then Jon called me at like 9:30. He wanted to go to the beach with Mick and Bobby so he picked me up at like 11. The beach was sooo hot! The water wasnt even that cold lol. So we left there at like 2:30. I got a lot of sun, especially because I went to the tanning bed friday and got fried there too. I had a lot of fun with Jon at the beach. Bobby and Mick picked up these 2 girls and used my cell phone to get their numbers except they didnt store them after they put them in lol. Oh well, at least they tried. Last night was pretty crazy. Party at Sammys. Mick got trashed. I think Jon and I were the only sober people there. Micks new girlfriend Tiffany was such a bitch. No one liked her at all. She complained the whole time Mick was sick instead of like idk.. trying to help him of something. She was dressed like a slut anyway. So a bunch of shit started with her after I left and there was almost a fight and yea.. it was fun though. I seriuosly need to work on getting a later curfew because I feel bad for Jon having to stop everything to bring me home. Wait... hes my boyfriend! Hes supposed to do that. Oh... I keep forgetting... Anywho. So amber is working until 6:30 and Im sure she will want to hang out. But actually she may go out to see her new horse. She was excited about that.. She got him yesterday. She said hes really big and pretty. Im excited for her because she has wanted that for a really long time.
Oh and I think I am going to have to downgrade my mustang to an older version because I have to have a car that is not that expensive, mine is about $10,000 maybe $11,000. But if i got the older one, I would want it black, a GT, new tires and rims, an exaust system and my system or a new one put in it. But idk.. im trying to make things easier for my mom. Plus she will be paying for my gas and anything my <3 desires!
So I guess i am going to go get ready. Jon is coming over and I think Sammy is having another party so that should be fun. Talk atcha later!
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